Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married.
  If this doesn't make you laugh, you have lost your sense of humor.

**
 The
other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.'
I told my
husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'
Well, the hours
passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 a.m., a
bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock
in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my
husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was
really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution,
in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally
smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos =MIDNIGHT!)

 The
next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him
'MIDNIGHT'...
He didn't seem pissed off in the least.
Phew, I got away
with that one!

hahahaha!

My Lucky Night

I ended up with a woman at a local bar last night. She looked pretty
good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all. I found
myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a bit and then she asked, 'Have you ever had a Sportsman's
Double?'

'What's that?' I asked.

'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like and my mind began
to embrace the idea. I said, 'No I haven't had a mother and daughter
threesome.'

We drank a bit more and then she says with a wink, 'Tonight is your
lucky night.'

We drove to her place. We walked in, she put on the hall light and
shouted upstairs,
'Mom! You still awake?'